Yes way. Chicago's conduct code is a priceless legacy
John Kass
March 6, 2008
The Chicago Way.
What is it? Is it easily abused? Is it dangerous in the wrong hands?
This is critical, as the nation's eyes turn toward Chicago's federal
building, where Barack Obama's personal real estate fairy, Tony Rezko,
stands trial on federal corruption charges.
'The Chicago Way'
The phrase must be put in context, something the national media fails
to do when they ****tray Obama as the boy king drawing the sword from
the stone, ready to change America's politics of influence and
lobbyists, ignoring the fact that Chicago ain't Camelot.
With opening statements expected Thursday, the court will be packed
with journalists foreign to our idiom. In the past, a few re****ters
have applied "The Chicago Way" to our pizza, theater and opera,
thereby embarrassing themselves beyond redemption.
To prevent such outrage, I've enlisted the help of George Wa****ngton,
father of our country, crooner Dean Martin and aged action star Sean
Connery in a cutting-edge video premiering now at chicagotribune.com/
kass.
You know the movie "The Untouchables" in which Connery played the only
Chicago cop in city history with a Scottish accent? "He [ Al Capone]
puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the
morgue..." says Connery's cop. "That's the Chicago Way."
Perhaps.
Chicago's mob -- we call it the Outfit -- was slapped last summer by
federal prosecutors in the Operation Family Secrets trial that
convicted Outfit bosses, and cops and put political figures in with
them. We've had our chief of detectives sent to prison for running the
Outfit's jewelry-heist ring. And we've had white guys with Outfit
connections get $100 million in affirmative action contracts from
their drinking buddy, Mayor Richard Daley, who must have seen them
pink and white and male at some point.
That's the Chicago Way.
"This country was built on taxes," said a Democratic machine hack,
Cook County Commissioner Deborah Sims, as she and other Democrats
prepared to slap Chicago with the highest sales tax of any major city
in the country.
Her belief, that America was built on taxes, is one of the unique
features of our own city's history, which re****tedly began in 1776,
when the Daleys boldly declared our independence from the English
king.
"There's not that many political hacks in Cook County," Sims insisted
after the tax hike.
Not that many hacks? The only one re****ters need to bother about is
also involved at the same federal building: the mayor's own Duke of
Patronage, Robert Sorich.
Sorich has been found guilty by a jury, but the 7th Circuit Court of
Appeals above the Rezko courtroom is still deciding whether to redeem
the jury or redeem the mayor, who'd much rather have Sorich happy than
Obama in the White House.
Sorich was convicted two years ago of running the mayor's massive and
illegal patronage operation, and he's still not in prison. Thugs,
morons, idiots, and convicts were put on the city payroll to work the
precincts so that Daley could keep getting elected. Obama's spokesman,
David Axelrod, defended Daley patronage in a Tribune op-ed piece.
The Daley family's parish priest in Bridge****t, Rev. Dan Brandt,
lovingly compared Sorich to Jesus Christ as both had troubles with the
law.
"People often say, what would Jesus do?" he said, loyal not only to
his faith but to the 11th Ward's place at the head of Chicago Way. "I
put a twist on it and say, 'What would I do for Jesus?' With whom
Robert has a lot in common as far as legal problems ... [The Lord] was
a convicted felon. And Robert was convicted, and so he may have a lot
in common with Jesus."
When the parish priest does right by the patronage boss to protect the
mayor who gets endorsed by that great reformer Sir Barack of O'bama,
that's the Chicago Way.
Naturally, there are some squares who don't think taxpayers should
pave the Chicago Way to make it easy for Rezko to help purchase the
senator's dream house in a kinky deal exposed by the Tribune and still
not fully explained.
"It's really the Old Chicago Way," said Jay Stewart, executive
director of the Better Government Association. "In the old days they
would pretty much admit it up front, and now they deny it. It's
essentially about power, access to government jobs, government
contracts and taking care of your own."
One secret DaVinci Code-type sign for the Chicago Way is in the back
room of the Chicago City Council chambers at City Hall, where a
****trait of George Wa****ngton looks down at the crookedness below, and
extends his own hand, palm up, itchy, needing that special grease.
But some strangers to our lands have used the Chicago Way with perfect
pitch. Rezko's buddy, former Iraqi electricity minister, Aiham
Alsammarae, escaped an Iraqi prison where he was being investigated
for corruption.
A re****ter asked -- How did you escape?
"The Chicago Way," he said.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chi-kass06mar06,0,3632128.column
|
