On Sat, 17 May 2008 13:31:03 +0100, "Phildo" <Phil@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> Chick Singer Fines -
thankyou Phil! i'm gonna be a rich fellow now since there are two in
the production right now :-)
>
>
>
> listed below are frequently committed crimes & misdemeanours
and
>the
> recommended fines
>
> Setting her purse on top of grand piano - $35
> Asking the Fender Bass player to play arco - $75
> Carrying charts in a Fendi bag - $200
> Using a cart with wheels for her Shure microphone - $110
> Likes to sing 'The Boy From Ipanema' - $140
> Asks the sax player to play ***ier, like Kenny G - $500
> Sings the National Anthem as a jazz waltz - $215
> Asks sound guy to raise 653kHz .25db. - $100
> Asks sound guy to fix the 'EKG' - $200
> Singing the bridge to 'Misty' while singing 'Skylark' - $30
> Admires Darlene Edwards' pitch - $125
> Admires Jonathan Edwards' time - $125
> Insists Lena and ****rley are related - $200
> Insists Dinah and Diane are related - $250
> Doesn't understand the lyric to 'Let's Call the Whole Thing
Off' -
>$45
> Doesn't know the lyric to 'In Othe r Words' - $80
> Knows the lyric to 'Fly Me to The Moon' - $180
> Dedicates 'The Second Time Around' to her first husband - $50
> Dedicates 'Just Friends' to her sister's husband - $150
> Announces over the PA which band members are married - $100
> Dedicates 'The First Time If Ever I Saw Your Face' to Elaine,
her
>life partner - $69
> Sings 'Memory' in her medley from 'Lion King' - $45
> Sings 'Memory' & 'The Way We Were' as a medley - $250
> Has a Broadway medley over 35 minutes long - $700
> Dates the trombone player because he knows Finale - $200
> Dates the trombone player because he owns a PA system - $300
> Dates the trombone player - $750
> Thinks vibraphone is a new kind of I-Pod - $100
> Brings five gown changes to a Bar Mitzvah - $500
> Sings 'Guess Who I Saw Today' for the Bride & Groom's first
>dance - $125
> Steals her 'scat' licks from Helen Reddy- $1000
> Asks the drummer to play an octave faster - $80
> Dates the drummer because he can play an octave faster - $235
> Doesn't know her key for 'When Sunny Gets Blue' - $1000
> Thinks Kate Smith was a Jazz Singer - $1,000
> Thinks Karen Carpenter was a great drummer - $500
> Has a vibrato that you could drive a Mac Truck through - $250
> Insists that Hoagy Carmichael wrote the lyrics to 'Stardust.'
-
>$4,500
> Never knows when to come in. - $1.40...
> Has dated everyone in the band -$100 deducted from every
paycheck
> Insists that 'Lover Man' be played as an up-tempo swing - $60
> Taps the rhythm with the fingers of the hand holding the mic
-$350
> Scats on every song in the set including 'The Christmas
>Song' -$4,501 - Why the extra dollar?...............It's probably all she
>has left!
> Asks the drummer, 'what key do I do Route 66
>in?'.................. - Fire her....she's out of money and can't afford
to
>pay her fines.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Announces that 'we're doing this one for the first time now' just
to
>make sure the entire audience catches the clams. - 75 Euro
>
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